Understanding that your parent may be emotionally immature can explain a lot. It can help make sense of why certain conversations always end the same way, why they become defensive when you talk about your experience, or why you keep leaving interactions feeling unheard. But then comes the harder question: what do you actually do with that information? Understanding your parent does not automatically change them or the relationship. It does not guarantee an apology, make diff

Co-parenting after a separation is going to look different than parenting under one roof. Different does not automatically mean worse. Your child can have two homes, different routines, and parents who do not always agree and still feel safe and supported. What matters is that they know what to expect from the adults caring for them and that as much of the adult conflict as possible stays with the adults. So if you’ve found yourself asking, “How do I co-parent with a difficul

There is a lot of information online about parent-child relationships and what you should do, but there is no one guidebook that fits every family. Your relationship is shaped by the patterns that already exist, whether there has been abuse or neglect, how much time you spend together, your own capacity for the dynamic, whether you are creating a family of your own, and so many other things. If you've found yourself asking, “Why do my parents still treat me like a child?” you

Have you ever left a conversation with someone you care about and realized you feel a little heavier than you did before? Nothing terrible happened. You may even have had a good conversation. But somehow you spent most of the time talking about what went wrong at work, who is sick, what someone else did, what hurts today, or what everyone is worried about. We all do this sometimes. Negative things tend to stick with us. They take up space in our minds, so naturally, they beco

When a parent asks, “Why don’t my adult kids come home for the holidays?” I think the question underneath it is often closer to: “Why don’t my kids want to be around me?” Holidays are supercharged with emotional memories. You spent years trying to make them special. You created traditions, bought gifts, worked longer hours, made the food, drove all over town, stayed up late, woke up early, and probably stressed yourself out more than your children ever realized. Now they’re a

How to talk about childhood hurt without turning the conversation into a fight If you’re thinking about telling your parents they hurt you, there is probably a reason you want to have this conversation now. If you’re here, you’ve probably done enough of your own reflection that you finally understand why certain things in your relationship with your parents feel the way they do. You’re noticing patterns that aren’t changing, phone calls end in tension, or you’re keeping parts

How to hear what they're trying to tell you without taking responsibility for everything that went wrong When your adult child starts talking about things from their childhood that negatively impacted them, it can feel like blame. It can feel like they're telling you that you did something wrong. None of us want to do something wrong, especially when it comes to parenting. So when we're told there has been a negative impact on our child's life because of something we "did," o

By: Afton Turner LPCC I am a therapist working with parents, adult children, and families navigating parent and adult child conflict, family relationship problems, estrangement, political and value differences, and difficult communication. I help families better understand the patterns underneath their conflict and find ways to move forward even when seeing eye to eye isn’t possible. We are navigating a unique time in the world. Political differences are at an all-time high,

You didn't come this far in parenting to feel like a stranger to your own child. But now you may find yourself tiptoeing around topics you used to talk about freely. Replaying conversations in your head, wondering what went wrong. Feeling like no matter what you say, it comes out wrong.

Key Points Set clear expectations Slow the moment down Divide responsibilities The holidays bring excitement, memories (good and bad), pressure, and a lot of unspoken expectations. Even in the most loving families, this season can create tension simply because everyone is stressed in different ways. The good news: small shifts can make communication calmer and more connected. Set clear expectations ahead of time. Most misunderstandings come from assumptions: who’s bringing wh