3 Ways To Improve Communication In Your Family During The Holidays

Key Points

• Set clear expectations

• Slow the moment down

• Divide responsibilities

The holidays bring excitement, memories (good and bad), pressure, and a lot of unspoken expectations. Even in the most loving families, this season can create tension simply because everyone is stressed in different ways. The good news: small shifts can make communication calmer and more connected.

1. Set clear expectations ahead of time. Most misunderstandings come from assumptions: who’s bringing what, what time to arrive, or what topics are off-limits. A simple group text or quick conversation can prevent confusion later. Something like “Here’s the plan, does this work for everyone?” helps people feel included and prepared. And if you don’t feel comfortable sending that message yourself, think about the family member who would feel comfortable doing it. Ask them for support and have them send it instead. It still creates clarity without putting all the pressure on you.

2. Slow the moment down before responding.

   Holiday stress makes people hear things through a filter. Taking a breath, asking for clarification, or stepping outside for a minute can stop a small irritation from growing into a bigger conflict. When you model calm communication, others naturally slow down too.

   
   

3. Divide responsibilities so it feels fair.

   Holidays often fall on the same few people, which builds quiet resentment. A short check-in, “Who wants to handle cooking? Who wants to clean up? Who’s good with entertaining the kids?” creates balance. Most people want to help; they just need direction. If you aren’t the one typically in charge, ask where you can support or simply take initiative when you see a place to jump in. Wash a few dishes, wipe off a counter, put on a movie for the kiddos, share a happy memory with your grandpa. Even small efforts lighten the load and make the day run more smoothly for everyone.

   
   

You don’t need a perfect family to communicate during the holidays. A little clarity, a little patience, and a few small check-ins can help everyone feel more supported and make the season much more enjoyable. Communication is about speaking up, don't be afraid to ask.

Bonus Tip!

Grounding exercises can be surprisingly helpful for both you and everyone around you. These tricks can be used in moments of tension or even when things get a little too rowdy at the kids’ table. One quick trick is using sour candy, yup sour candy, it actually helps lower your heart rate. If things start getting tense, turn it into a lighthearted challenge: who can eat a sour piece of candy without making a face? Winner gets dessert first. It breaks the tension and helps everyone’s nervous system settle at the same time.

Not into sour candy? Try an ice challenge instead: who can hold an ice cube the longest, or who can keep it until it melts? These simple grounding exercises give everyone something playful to focus on while naturally calming their bodies and bringing the energy back down.